Streamers

AYYOMA

Hello blog

I’ve just started you. I feel self-conscious because I’m at a library and there are screaming kids. Nothing against screaming kids but I have some level of social anxiety, so I’m worried that the parents think I’m angry at their screaming kids, and low-key I am kind of frustrated, but more with myself and my life choices and my broke-ass not being able to afford my own computer. At some point I was also worried that I wasn’t being true to my easily overstimulated self so I stuck a long-nailed pointer finger into my left ear as an experiment and I ended up feeling rude, but honest.

I amhave bipolar, specifically bipolar disorder II, probably, and I’m a chronic oversharer. I also have some level of OCD, probably mild? Eh. I go to therapy when therapy has a timeslot available.

I live with a bunch of hippies who edge towards the cynical gardener occult side with various day jobs, and we live in constant flux. Thassal I’m gonna say about that.

I’m kind of paranoid of people getting into my business so I’ll try to do this in a balanced way. I tried a few blogs before being all super open in the fear that I was intensely emotionally repressed or something, but really I was just lonely and bored and depressed and secretive despite my efforts so 98% of the blog was angry made-up words in cryptic garbage duck poems.

You know when you’re at the library and it says 8 mins and 43 seconds are left but you can’t remember how many time extensions you’ve accepted?

I also dabble in the magick and occult. I’ve also done drugs before so I try to dabble with one finger in the water, the rest of my body flat on the dirt, my dipping arm hanging on a log near the river bank that’s been flanked with large stones and isn’t going anywhere. I have started calling myself a witch though, just to see how I feel. Interested in pop culture magick, the astral, dreams, and also afraid of those last two partly as a result of my past dabbling.

My mom’s side of the family are all evangelical christians, now. Well, save three of us. We’re also from a more conservative culture. Here’s for breaking the mold, ah ha ha. Ha. My dad is a whole topic, obviously.

I’m queer???? I’m definitely something. Guesses: Bi, genderneutral, genderfluid, genderdudeish, demi, sexually frustrated, wait that’s not an orientation, –

I don’t read, or more accurately finish as many books as I used to, or write, so my writing has suffered. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whatever. Also making and deleting tumblrs, on and off, it’s rubbed off on me nonetheless.

I might talk tarot and astrology sometimes. I might talk family. I might whatever. Angst. I’m either on the down end or mixed bit of things at the moment.

Ooh 10 minutes. Yes please.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s